Even if it’s not your fault it still hurts

What to do when the consequence of others sin affect you

Moses glared one more time across the river. The home and the blessing that he had been waiting and working for was just on the other side of the Jordan. He wanted to cross and had been looking forward to crossing and entering the promise land. If it was just up to him, they would have all ready crossed the river, but the heart of the people had been melted by ten of the spies that had crossed into Canaan. Now he was turning his back on all that God wanted for them - not because of his sin, but because of the sin of others. He was inseparably connected to these people, so their sin now would become his burden too. Imagine having to endure punishment and a deviation from Gods plan, because of the sin of people that you are closely connected with. The wife or the husband with a wayward spouse can understand. The parent with a wayward child can understand. The child with a parent bound in sin can understand. The church with a wayward pastor can understand. The pastor with a wayward church can understand. The question is not whether we are affected by the sin of others, but what we are to do when we find ourselves in that predicament. As Moses turned to face forty years in the wilderness, his prayer is recorded in Psalm 90, and is a great example of how to deal with the negative ramifications of this kind of sin. Moses will state both the facts that he knows about God and men.  He will then allow these facts to determine how he would like to respond to the unfortunate situation that he is in and that he did not cause. 

• Fact 1. God can be trusted because of his supreme eternal nature. vs 1-2
• Fact 2. God can be trusted because He is sovereign in His punishment of sinful man. vs 3-8
• Fact 3. God can be trusted because His punishment is purposeful to the benefit of His children. vs 10-12
• Fact 4. God can be trusted because His mercy during the consequence of sin will satisfy and give purpose to life. vs 14-15 

Based on these truths, Moses declares his desired response. Instead of consequence, he saw the continual work of God and the generational goal of glory being made available to their children based on their response to punishment. Moses desired that they would see the beauty of Godly correction so that they could establish their tomorrow instead of just lamenting over their yesterday. This would need to be his attitude for the next FORTY years. Moses had an amazing outlook as he turned away from all he had wanted, but could not have because of the sins of others. The lesson that Moses teaches us is incredible. The normal response to consequences that we go through because of others sin is bitterness, self righteousness, discouragement, self pity, or anger. All of these fleshly responses seem justified because it was not our choice that put us under this consequence, but all those responses also make it very hard to maintain joy, learn wisdom, or see how God is working through the situation. Where Moses could have seen hopelessness, he asked to see mercy, rejoicing, and gladness. Where he could have just seen punishment, he asked to see God’s work and the success of their children. Where he could have seen misery, he asked to see the beauty of the Lord. The people that you are leading or living with need someone who can see consequences as an opportunity, because even though they did not cross Jordan when they should have, Moses’ prayer would be answered and their children would know the glory of success. Moses’ attitude is not excusing or dismissing sin. On the contrary, it is allowing people to learn from their sin.  Instead of Moses allowing his natural feeling to determine his response, he stated and allowed the facts of God’s character and nature to determine his response. Only a meek man who loves God and his people more than himself could ever do that. 

Developing a Ministry philosophy without drifting or defying

Developing a ministry philosophy without drifting or defying authority

One of the first things I was told when I began working in ministry was that there are a lot of things that they did not or could not teach you in college, and the only way to learn was by real life experience. However, what I found was that ministry was much more about obedience and loyalty than growth and preparation. You are probably thinking, “Wow, you must have been under some bad leadership”. It is true that leadership can make the development of a ministry philosophy easier or harder, but I came to realize the reason that I had spent so many years in ministry without a ministry philosophy was not my leadership’s fault, but mine. I, like most people in ministry, had leadership in my life that had good days and bad, strengths and weaknesses, and were good men doing the best they could to accomplish the task that God had given them. I was just a part of the process of accomplishing that task. I participated in their ministry with their methods according to the perceived unspoken parameters. Then one day I became the leader and started doing everything they had done, but I did not know why we were doing much of what we were doing. Don't get me wrong, I did not disagree with all that we were doing or believing; I had just adopted the practices out of obedience and loyalty-but now I was the one in leadership, and all I had was tradition and talking points instead of Bible answers and personal conviction. So, I went on a journey to develop a ministry philosophy that I could believe, understand, and teach. What I needed was not a list of what we did or believed, but why we did it or believed it, and how do we transfer the belief into helpful teaching and practice. This is the path that I took to develop a ministry philosophy.  I hope it helps.

You should be in an environment where you are free to ask “Why?” Questions.

Often people in leadership do not like staff to ask the why questions. The ability to ask questions is imperative to developing a philosophy as opposed to just having blind obedience. God did not discourage “why” questions, in fact, He encouraged them, whether speaking to the children of Israel about their sons in Joshua, or to his disciples in response to a parable. 

So, what kind of questions should be asked? 

You need to find someone that you can ask any question to. However the questions that you do are important. 

Ask for terms to be defined.

I can not tell you how many times I have heard two people “discussing” a topic and they could not find agreement or even understanding because the terms that they were discussing had no clear definition. I recently read a discussion about separation that produced a wave of unprofitable debate. The problem was  the concept of separation was never defined. Were they talking about ecclesiastical separation or personal friendship or ministry cooperation or ministry privileges (like preaching for each other) or basic cordiality and kindness. As each person gave their argument, they would apply whatever definition fit, so everyone went in a complete self-righteous circle. Terms like doctrines, convictions, institutional standards, authority expectation, preferences, ministry pragmatism, culture, and others must be defined if you want to build a philosophy. Find someone that you can genuinely discuss the “whys” of ministry.

You need to be able to ask parameter questions.

In other words, would the answers to the question be different if the circumstances were different? Often, we only view ministry from the box that we have been placed in, so we begin to think that all the concepts of ministry are static. If we are not able to ask these sort of questions, it can lead to some dangerous consequences. One consequence is that method and  preference take priority over principle.  Another consequence is that once we realize that ministry is not as cookie cutter as we were taught, then everything becomes negotiable and we can swerve into the other ditch of pragmatism. What we do not need is a list of parameters, but biblical principles that will guide us as we set our own parameters.   

You need to ask realistic questions

Sometimes we get caught in the trap of the extreme hypothetical questions or emotionally driven questions. You do not set your principles based on extreme hypothetical or emotion. You set your philosophy on the normal or clear information. What is amazing is that the philosophy for the normal situation typically will also work for the extreme.  However, it is much better to work from the normal to the extreme, then from the extreme back to normal. For example, when someone is talking about abortion, they may use the extreme of incest or rape and want an answer in that case. However, better to see if there is agreement in 98% of abortions (the norm) before you answer the extreme. Typically the reason for an extreme question is not to find an answer, but to drive an agenda. Be careful that you did not fall for this.  While you say you are looking for answers to develop a philosophy, you may be actually driving an agenda.  If you are still under leadership, it is important that you do not attempt to undermine leadership while finding you own ministry philosophy. 

You must ask and get the answers to these questions without developing a critical spirit.

As you go thru this process, you are asking the leader to open himself to some level of scrutiny, and, no doubt, you are going to come to some different conclusions at some point. There is a great danger of developing a critical spirit or “I would not have done it that way” mentality. You must remember that there is a weight of leadership that you may not feel yet. It is always easier to be a back seat driver or a Monday quarterback. Also, remember that the pastor that you are under is still growing as well. So, be careful that you don’t develop a reactive critical philosophy that is based in a perceived superiority generated from relishing in the weakness of your pastor. 

You must be ready to not just ask the question - you need to develop a willingness to also be asked hard questions.

So, with control over your spirit and humility in your heart, start  asking and answering hard ministry questions in pursuit of a ministry philosophy that lines up with the Bible. You will be finished when Jesus returns. 

P.S. Note to pastors:  if we do not allow, and even encourage, men that are serving with us to pursue a ministry philosophy and to search out answers for themselves, we create robots or reactionist. Both, of which I believe, will fail to propitiate truth to the next generation.   

I will Never have what I once had

I will never have what I once had

Sin can have a devastating effect on a family, an individual, a church, and there is often this idea that once sin has devastated a home or a person, their life, and the lives affected are not able to be used for God. They would say things like, “Things can never be the way they once were.”, and to be honest it’s very often a true statement.  A home that is broken by sin will never be the home it was; a life that bears the scars of consequences will never be without the scars; a church that has endured the pain of betrayal cannot exist as if those things did not happen. It is, however, a misrepresentation of God’s word to believe that God is finished working in your life just because your sin or someone else’s sin has taken away something that is precious in your life. To be honest all of us are broken in some way or another.  Some of us have endured the consequences of our own sin or someone else’s sin that has been public and humiliating.  Others of us have to live with the internal knowledge of the sin that nobody knows about, but still has damaged or hindered our day-to-day fellowship with God. Certainly, the Bible is clear in the reality that God is able to forgive and cleanse sins. Unfortunately, however, the consequences or the ramifications of sin do not necessarily end with the cleansing. The husband that has devastated a home with sin and left and has caused great damage to a wife and children - that home may find cleansing; that wife may be able to find peace with God - but things will not be the same.  That which God had put together is now torn asunder. So the question arises how can I have a fulfilling relationship with God when my life is broken and devastated by sin. The reality is the life that I once had, I can no longer have. In the Old Testament the children of Israel had been warned by Jeremiah and other prophets of the coming captivity by the Babylonian Empire. They were told to reform their ways and repent of their sin and seek the face of God.  Of course we know that they did not, and in Jeremiah chapter 36, Jeremiah told Jehoiakim that his sons would not sit upon the throne of David. Now we fast forward some 70 years and the children of Israel are returning from the captivity that was a result of theirs and their fathers’ sin. The man that is leading them is Zerubbabel, Jehoiakim’s great-grandson, and Ezra tells us that he is coming to fulfill the sayings of Jeremiah.  So the man who should have been King - should’ve sat upon the throne of David to rule the nation of Judah - could not because of the sin of his forefathers. The life that he should’ve had - that he could’ve had - he could not have because of sin. So what do we do when the life we had or should’ve had is taken away from us because of sin? May I suggest we follow the example of Zerubbabel? The calling to serve God was his regardless of the circumstances, consequences or position. This man who should have been King, who should have been the ruler of the nation, was now simply an appointed governor, but his standing before God was not minimized because of his change in position.  In fact, his standing before God was very personal because of his obedience. He is returning from a life of captivity, a devastated heritage, leading a nation that was having no success. But his standing before God was immediately changed when he responded in obedience, and now this man who should’ve been King is going to be doing something great for God.  He will be in charge of orchestrating, with Joshua the high priest’s help, the building of the second Temple, which the Bible says in Ezra, and in Haggi, and in Zechariah, will be greater than the first Temple. If people were going to pick a Bible character to emulate they would often pick David, Samuel, Joseph, or Solomon.  These men, no doubt, did great and wonderful things in obedience to God, but the man that I want to emulate is Zerubbabel, because I’ve been in captivity I know what is like to experience failure, devastation, and grief.  I know what is like to have broken fellowship. I am so thankful however to know that God is always willing to respond to repentance and obedience and even if my life will never be what it once was He can always be to me my life, my inheritance, and my hope. Some might say you’re just trying to justify sin, and I would argue there’s nothing further from the truth.  To justify sin is to stay in captivity or to rationalize that captivity is not as bad as we think it is.  That is not what Zerubbabel did. He returned to a broken down city filled with rubble and ruin and said it is not the city it once was, but we will build again. So broken home, broken marriage, broken person, your life may be in ruin, and you may have lost much.  Return, and let God build a heart in you for His glory. For there is one thing you can never lose or be separated from - His Love.

Richard Rossiter

Confessions of a youth worker

Confessions of a youth Worker

Recently, I was trying to explain to someone my philosophy of youth ministry. In the process of explaining it, it seemed to me as if my arguments were not concise. Though all my thoughts were flowing in the same direction, it seemed more like the tide of an ocean rather than a clear path cut by a river, (sorry for the goofy metaphor). It bothered me that my philosophy lacked clarity, though it was understood in my own mind; what was the use of it if it could not be concisely and clearly delineated to others.  This is an attempt to define the underlying principles of youth philosophy that determine our purpose and direction of youth ministry.
1. Question #1 Who are they? -
In the early 1900s, the term adolescence became prominent in our society.  It was first introduced by psychologist G. Stanley Hall; his basic argument was that the growth of an individual mirrored the evolutionary process, so that from the ages of about 12 to 18, you would mirror the Neanderthal. Though all of us have worked with young people which might make us think that this is true, our biblical knowledge would have to trump our experience. The ultimate consequence of this philosophy was a shift in thinking.  Prior to the invention of adolescence, youth of ages 12 and upward were considered to be entering the first stages of adulthood as opposed to what is now the overlying thought - that those young people are entering the last stages of childhood. This thinking has dominated secular education and psychology, and by consequence childhood has been extended, so that currently under some government programs individuals up to the age of 26 can still be considered “dependent”, or viewed as children in a legal sense. This thinking has easily made its way into the church, and youth are treated as if they are in the last stages of childhood. Biblically, there are only two types of behavior - child and adult. (This has nothing to do with fun. I’m 41 and hope I never stop having fun .)
Prior to “adolescence” the idea was to embrace adulthood as opposed to holding on to the last bastion of childhood.  Childhood is dependence, whereas being an adult is independence.  Surely, we can see the eroding of adulthood in our society where we have created ,in general, two generations of entitled children.  By adopting the same philosophy, we have produce a generation of Christians who cannot stand on their own two feet.  Was Daniel behaving like a child, or an adult when he purposed in his heart. Was David acting like a child, or an adult when he said, “Is there not a cause?”  Was Samuel behaving like a child, or an adult when he said, “Here am I.”   The list could go on and on.  The Hebrew word used for youth or lad is Na’ar.  David, Daniel, Josiah, Samuel - all of these men - were doing something for God when they were being called a Na’ar.  Na’ar comes from the root H5287 which means “to shakeout or off.”  We should be helping youth “shake off” childhood.  In the NT, Paul says that the young men are strong and have overcome the wicked one.  The Bible teaches that young people should be on the front line, not the sideline.
This first principle determines how we look at young people, how we interact with young people, the plans and activities we have for young people.
Are they in the last stages of childhood or the first stages of adulthood.
Principle #1 Direction determines destination.

2. Question#2 Is youth ministry an island or pillar?
When I was a youth pastor, if you had asked me to describe our youth group as either an island alongside the church, or a pillar of the church, I would’ve willingly said an island.  It was my desire as a youth pastor to segregate the young people as much as possible - to place them under my authority, my teaching, and my care. My assumption was they needed to be fixed - their schools had messed them up, their parents had messed them up, and the pastor certainly did not understand them, so the more that I could segregate them away from the normal functions of the church, the better in the long run for them.  Unfortunately, what I came to realize later was that the majority of the young people were not better because of my segregated care of them, they were simply segregated from the church, so when it was time to leave my care and integrate back into the adult world, many of them found that they did not care for it.  It was not focused on them; they felt it was not directly beneficial to them, and ministry up to that point, from the early stages of Junior church until high school graduation, had always been about them.  Perhaps that was just my failure, but it seems as if there is a wave of young people who grow up in well-intentioned churches, nurtured by well-intentioned youth pastors, but well-intentioned or not, they find when they enter adulthood, that they’ve never really been part of the church - just an island alongside of it.  The other method of youth ministry is for the young people to be a pillar in the church. Pillars are distinct by nature.  The “youth pillar” will often find itself doing different things than the “Senior St. pillar” or the “young married pillar.”  It is imperative, however, that distinction does not mean segregation.  All the pillars work together to hold up the building; all the pillars can stand side-by-side in value and in benefit.  It is imperative that young people realize that they are not the future of the church, they are the church; and though they will often have distinct activities - I call them trips out to the island - that can’t be where they live. The goal of youth ministry is to establish them in the church, to establish their faith Christ-ward.  The pillars of the church should be able to work together.  The pillars of the church should be able to stand side-by-side, minister together, pray together, cry together, and praise together.  I determined that though our young people will by necessity “visit” the island, they should “live” as a pillar of the church.
Principle #2 You get what you honor

3. Question #3 How do you conquer a heart
It is amazing how many ministry principles that I’ve learned through mistakes that I have made.  When I began youth ministry, it seemed as if the number one goal for our young people was conformity, followed by compliance - although we called it spirituality.  My preaching was focused on those two things: issue driven and behavior focused.  Even though we would often make the statement, “you cannot change people from the outside in,” our preaching and ministry philosophy did not coincide with our statement.  Simply because we were dealing with young people, we believed on some level that we could command or force them into spirituality, like the people that lead the sheep to the shears.  We would use institutional standards, and the guise of authority to push young people toward what we thought was spirituality (this is especially difficult to balance in a Christian school ministry), but what our effort produced turned out to be simply conformity and compliance.
Once we realized that this didn’t work, many youth ministries went to the direct opposite end of the pendulum.  We cannot force spirituality, so we should coax it.  We would draw no lines, we would just love them to spirituality.  Unfortunately, our definition of love meant to leave out truth and to leave out warning of wayward living, but the results were no better.  I had to come to the conclusion that hearts cannot be conquered, neither by forcing compliance, or pacifying flesh.  It was only after becoming a pastor and asking myself - how do I help adults grow?  My conclusion was that I should preach truth.  Point them to Jesus; then stand ready to aid, assist, guide, and then wait on the Holy Spirit.  If it is good enough for adults, why is it not good enough for young people?  My philosophy was solidified when I thought about how God dealt with me.  I came to the conclusion that even God doesn’t conquer hearts (though He will judge them).  He asks them to be surrendered.  It was only then that I realized how egregious my initial philosophy was of demanding compliance.  Compliance is something that law enforcement demands from a criminal; God does not want my compliance.  He wants my heart, and once He has my heart and my love, it will be displayed by my obedience.  This does not produce compliance to him, but a reflection of Him.
Principle #3 Hearts cannot be conquered but surrendered

These three principles determine my philosophy of youth ministry.  Now the question Is not whether this or that activity is over the line, or will this or that special event give us a crowd?  Instead, the question is, Does this activity, event, or direction line up with our core principles?  Though my methods may vary based on environment, culture, or audience, they should not move outside of our core principles.  In truth, much of what I did in youth ministry did not change much on the surface, but why I did what I did was drastically different.

Don’t Be A Bouncy-House Church

 Don’t Be A Bouncy-House Church

Have you been to one of those birthday parties where they order the huge bounce house for the children?  In a matter of minutes, the truck shows up, hooks this mass of plastic to an air hose, and when they turn the air on it turns into a huge bounce house, perhaps with slides, maybe with water.  It could have 3or4 rooms - probably two-stories. It’s huge. The kids go nuts. They start having a blast jumping all over the place and sliding down the slides, but inevitably my son will kick the hose that is feeding air to the bounce house. The moment the air is turned off the entire impressive structure flattens to nothing and then there is a mad dash to rescue the children. 

In Hosea chapter 12 this is kind of the description that God gives to Ephraim (name given to the northern 10 tribes of Israel). For the entire book of Hosea, God has been expressing his coming judgement, yet continually offering mercy, grace, and love with a broken heart for Israel, and for their sin. From man’s point of view, Ephraim appeared to be greatly successful with a very large military, great economic power, and respect amongst other nations. God says in Hosea 12:1, that Ephraim feeds on the wind, has made an alliance with the Assyrians and is trading oil with Egypt. In other words, the people of God appear impressive- not because the power of God, but because of false power- fake power. The kind of power that when you kick the hose, the house will fall flat. The church will never be satisfied feeding on the wind or making alliance with the Syria (who represents the world), and getting oil from Egypt which is a replacement of true Holy Spirit power.  The truth is that the source of your faith will be tested by life. In other words, the hose that feeds you will be kicked at some point.  If your spiritual house has been only held up by feeding on wind or a pastor, all you are feeding the sheep is wind.  Then, when the hose is kicked, the house will come tumbling dow,n and it will hurt those who are residing there. The source or display of your success or failure is not determined by the size of the house, whether it’s new or old, has many programs or few programs, or by whatever myriad of methods that you might employ. Your success or failure will be determined by what feeds your church. Do they feast on wind or do they feast on the word? A bouncy house is a neat place to visit but no one would want to actually live there and face the storms of life.

So, the question becomes clear.  How do I avoid taking the church down the bouncy house trail?   In Hosea 12:6, God gives Judah three important measures to help them not end up like Ephraim. 

1. Godward Perspective 

vs 6. “Turn thou to the Lord thy God.” God must remain not only the focus of our ministry, but the goal of our ministry. Judah became confused because their focus went from seeing God to seeing the greatness of Ephraim. Men will get the greatest benefit from our ministries if our ministries are focused to please God as opposed to pleasing men. A Godward perspective is not a call to or from a particular method but a call to prayer to know and see God.

2. Biblical balance

 vs 6. “keep mercy and judgment”  We can so easily find ourselves in the ditches that line the road of God’s will by either being too merciful or too judgmental. God would desire that we maintain proper balance of mercy and judgment so we are not derailed by our emotions or by our particular preferences. Mercy and judgment are ultimately not acts of men but acts of God, so proper balance can only be attained when it is God-given. A biblical balance is not a call to adherence to or from a particular method but a call to adherence to God’s word.

3. Humble patients 

vs 6. “wait on the Lord thy God continually”  Ultimately, the power to accomplish ministry in a way that will produce generational and eternal dividends only come from God. It is a dire mistake to try to manufacture that power or pursue that power from any other source other than God. Judah was jealous of all that Ephraim had even though God knew Ephraim was simply blown up by an east wind. God’s advice is not to crave the wind but to continually and humbly and patiently wait on him.

Like Ephraim, the Laodicean church believed something about itself that seem true from the perspective of men but was utterly false from the perspective of God. May we always crave the praise of God more than the praise of men, so that we might feast on the Bread of Life instead of the wind.